Iāve been no angel in this lifetime. I certainly never thought Iād be in line for a halo, but you never know whatās round the corner.
Iāve been on an NHS waiting list for a new arsehole for over two years now, and Iāve finally been given a date for surgery š„³
Haemorrhoids are not something people often talk about openly, but I know several people who suffer with them. Mine came as a result of pregnancy, which is really common.
For those of you who donāt know and are interested, haemorrhoids, or piles, are blood vessels inside your rectum that have become engorged with blood and can be uncomfortable, itchy, and bleed.
Their are 3 ways of treating them. The first and least painful is banding, which my dad had and it worked well for him, involving putting bands around them, similar to the way you castrate lambs, but can only be used in mild cases.
After seeing the consultant he said that wasnāt an option for me as I have one thatās now outside. The other two procedures are more effective but much more painful and take a lot longer to recover from.
The procedure he recommended for me is called a HALO š which stands for āHaemorrhoidal Artery Ligation Operationā.
Considering the hedonistic life Iāve led, it seems somehow fitting that my halo is gonna be up my arse! š
I wonāt be able to walk my dogs for two weeks š³, so will be going down to Moffat to stay with my parents to recuperate. The recovery time is 6 weeks! Iām gonna be living on painkillers and laxatives for a few weeks. Iāve actually decided to do a fast. Fasting is incredibly good for cancer. Itās incredibly good for your health generally in fact.
Check this out..
https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1WDW7kYXFP/?mibextid=wwXIfr
Iāve never felt more motivated to fast in my life. The less pooping going on, the better!
Need to buy myself a rubber ring to sit on. No pain no gain as they say, itās the price you pay for a halo, and new and improved arsehole š
Send me healing vibes on the 30th ā¤ļøāš©¹
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