Petra's Healing Journey

My scan visit on Wednesday was frustrating 😤

I had the ultrasound and they said they couldn’t give me any measurements as the lines weren’t clear. My consultant said my condition was ‘stable’.

I asked to see the report from March so I could compare it with the new one but he said that wasn’t possible. He said I would have to request my medical records and do that myself. Which is ridiculous. I was not impressed 🤬

He had said to me at my last appointment that if my treatments weren’t working he would be pushing me to have surgery after my next scan. He didn’t mention surgery at all. I get the feeling that he didn’t want to tell me my treatments were working. He asked if I had added anything into my regime and if I’d stopped anything, which surprised me. The more I think about it the more I feel that the treatments must be working or the cells would be continuing to multiply (I have the fastest growing form of DCIS there is), and the lump would be getting bigger, and it isn’t.

The only way I can get measurements is to have an MRI, which I wanted to avoid as the dye the pump through your veins is really toxic, it’s full of heavy metals and can damage your organs, and I’ve already had one this year already – but I feel I need to have some definitive proof that the treatments are working, so I’ve scheduled an MRI and have found a detox I can do before and after, to negate the effects of the gadolinium. I expected to have to wait a couple of weeks for this, but the appointment is through already and my MRI is scheduled for Tuesday morning.

I had a liver function test done as well on Wednesday, so once the MRI is done I’m going to request for my medical records and compare all the tests in March to the new ones and will know categorically if what I’m doing is working.

I always knew there was a chance I would have to have surgery, the lump I have is bigger than anyone else I’ve spoken to in any of the groups I’ve joined who have DCIS, and it may well be that it’s too big for me to tackle. I may have to have it removed and then continue with the treatments instead of having radiotherapy or chemo.

Because my DCIS is high grade, if it does become invasive, it will bypass stage 1&2 and fast-track straight to stage 3 or 4, which obviously I would like to avoid.

Similarly, because my lump is so big, it will be difficult to get clear margins, so surgery could very well lead to more surgery. Obviously I’d like to avoid that too.

Best case scenario is that my treatments are working, and I will carry on doing what I’m doing. My lump feels considerably smaller, in fact my whole boob seems to have shrunk! The MRI on Tuesday should back that up. Pray for me! 🩷