Petra's Healing Journey

In my last post I promised more craziness and I’m here to deliver 🤩

This is not a post about my protocol, it’s a post about love❣️

I’ve been very happily single since my awakening four years ago. I have a very full and busy life, and what with my health challenges and writing my book, I didn’t have the headspace for romance. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a die hard romantic, and since I was very young I have always believed that one day I would find my soulmate.

I was always searching, jumping from one relationship to another, and spent 20 years on dating sites, in between relationships. I was going to write a book about the Do’s and Don’ts of internet dating, I was gonna call it ‘Kissing Frogs’ 🐸

Since my awakening I’ve been happily single for the first time in my life. Dogs, writing, spirituality and being a good mum were my focus, and I was loving life 🥰

I was hanging out quite a lot with my friend Jasper – also uninterested in romance, only a couple of years out of a long marriage. Both dog mad, and on the same wavelength about the important stuff, not least our neurodivergent tendencies – we laugh a lot.

Since my diagnosis he’s been a tremendous support, in pretty much every area of my life. It was very clear in my mind that I didn’t want any distractions until my book is finished, so I was absolutely sure that despite our friendship being pretty much everything a relationship is, without the physical bit, our friendship was strong but definitely platonic.

In May, my big brother, Pog, the wood carver who lives in a forest in Finland, who is currently going through a kundalini awakening, (if you don’t know what that is, look it up, it’s pretty cool), arrived for a rare visit.

Pog was not a spiritual person until last year when his sudden awakening came about. He used to tell me to ‘Fuck off with my hippie shit’, whenever I was talking about anything spiritual. Since he began his own awakening we’ve grown very close, and I can safely say that he is now, in his own unique way, fully immersed in ‘hippie shit’! 😆

So after 25 years in Finland he came over to visit. I was going to say coincidentally, but I don’t believe in coincidence so I’ll say, synchronicitously (if that’s a word), he arrived a couple of days before my dad was taken into hospital.

Pog, Jasper and I were visiting Moffat to visit my parents, and to meet up with some new friends who have developed a new therapeutic modality for clearing trauma, called Spectrum for Change, something Jasper and I are interested in learning about. We are actually about to embark on training in it as coaches ✨

The day after we arrived, my dad was taken into hospital and my family descended into survival mode. Jasper dropped everything and was there, at every turn, knowing exactly what to do and what to say and when. My mum wasn’t coping well at all, my parents have been married for 60 years, and my mum is a worrier. Keeping her distracted was a full time job. Jasper and Jacks helped a lot, training and amusing Piper, my parents new puppy. Jasper is a man of many talents, training puppies is just the tip of the iceberg 🤩

Then Jasper gave me a letter.

As I read it, alone in bed that night, Jasper parked up in his camper van at the bottom of my parents street, a strange thing happened. Waves of what I can only describe as love, started coursing through me, from my feet to the top of my head, again and again. My heart was pounding 💓

To say it was a good letter would be an understatement. It was really funny and honest and beautifully written. It totally blew my mind.

I was incredibly confused about why his letter evoked such a visceral reaction in me. I felt electric. I didn’t understand what it was, in that moment, and next day I felt like I was high on the best ecstasy, I’d ever had. I felt euphoric. When I saw Jasper, I could barely look at him, it was bizarre. And as soon as he touched me (his leg touched mine, innocently, fully clothed), it started again, waves of love coursing through me, it was incredibly intense, it took my breath away, literally. I was dizzy and overwhelmed, and suddenly realised that this was kundalini energy.

I don’t know if being around my brother triggered it, he is literally overflowing with kundalini energy, or if it was Jasper’s letter, or a combination of the two but fireworks were going off left right and centre.

I used to tell my mum I wouldn’t settle for anything less than fireworks, and there they were, happening before our very eyes ✨

I read the letter to my mum and Pog, I was crying and laughing at the same time, with tears pouring down my face, dripping onto the pages.

In what felt like breakneck speed, I was falling head over heels in love with someone I already knew to be one of the most amazing human beings on the planet 🪐

Bizarrely (for me), none of my friends or family seemed remotely surprised about me and Jasper, everyone could see we were made for each other, everyone except me.

I remember saying to him once that he was perfect for me on paper, but the physical attraction wasn’t there. Well, it seems that can change, mind blowingly quickly, when a connection is made at a soul level.

I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me, which was unsettling and pretty terrifying, but also exhilarating, and suddenly it began to feel like more like flying on a magic carpet ✨

I felt like the ditzy leading actress in a romcom, falling in love with her best friend, but oblivious to it all.

It seems it can actually be like it is in the movies 🥰